For nearly a year, preparing for Race Across Oregon gave me an important objective. The thought of racing terrified me, but it also motivated me. Speed intervals, hill repeats, endurance training, RAO gave meaning to it all.

I reached for RAO knowing it lay well outside my comfort zone. Completing it made my comfort zone bigger. My second place finish in the men’s 50-59 Division qualified me to enter the Race Across America. What seemed unimaginable before RAO has become an opportunity that I must now reckon with.

While I am proud of my accomplishment, RAO brought me to a cross-roads in long distance cycling.  If I were a dedicated racer, the road ahead would be clear. I would be looking for the next ultra endurance race. But I am a randonneur. I never raced a bicycle before I entered RAO. I understand the appeal. And I know the risks. Finishing a brevet at the front of the ride requires a disciplined training schedule. Winning or placing in an ultra race requires more, a lot more.

I cannot see how someone with a family and a career can achieve distinction as an ultracyclist unless one’s family and career are intertwined with the sport. If they are not, the hours the ultra racer must spend on the bike are going to take a toll on some important aspect of life, be it relationships, career, finances, or whatever it is that is sacrificed to make time for the bike.

Is ultracycling at the next level up worth the price?

Not for me, not if it means losing touch with my family, my friends, or other important aspects of life that have enduring value.

Is it possible to enjoy the sense of purpose and elation and self-confidence the ultra cyclist knows without turning one’s life over to the sport entirely?

That is the question I have been asking in the weeks since the race. It is difficult to do, but there comes a time when one must say, I have achieved my goals. I have done what I set out to do.

Looking for the next big ride at the next level up will not bring me any closer to a lasting sense of accomplishment or distinction or whatever it is we long distance cyclists are out there searching for, alone, on the highway. But it could certainly take me farther down the road from the parts of life that are important to me.

Tags: Goals, RAAM, RAO, Ultracycling, Values

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